Jan 09

The Polar Vortex Is Just Cold Weather.

Sorry for the absence my loyal followers, I’ve recently moved from Brooklyn to Boston and am finally getting into a bit of a groove and decided to break out the old laptop. Scratch that, I’m not sorry, be thankful for what you get, deal with it. How’s that for a cold reception? Speaking of the cold, has anyone seen the weather lately (perfect segue check). Long story short, it’s cold out. In other breaking news it’s January. Sure the weather has been a wee bit more unforgiving lately than on average, however, whose honestly surprised by a weather pattern that repeats itself every year? Summer = warm, winter = cold. Mind blown? Shouldn’t be. If somehow this weather has managed to perplex you or impact your daily life, here’s some advice…

weather mapGo through your closet, find clothes of various thicknesses and perhaps layer them? Maybe find the heaviest article of clothing you have and use that as your exterior layer. Repeat these steps as desired with every exposed appendage, pay extra attention to your head. Problem solved. If somehow, this confounds you, instead put on your most fashionable swimsuit, head to your closest body of water and please swim for hours, ignoring all signs that your body is rapidly fading as life escapes your sad excuse for a physique.

Seriously though, put some clothes on until you are no longer cold. Sure you run the risk of looking like some earth-toned Michelin Man, but at least then I can finally rid my ears of the constant din of the whines of fools who fail to warm themselves.

frost giant

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