Apr 10

The 2013 NCAA Champion is the Loui… Ah Who Cares?

cardinalsIf that team above were playing, now that would be something to write home about. Sports are dumb. I’ll say it again. Sports are dumb. Let that soak in. Are you humans that bored that you have to revert to playing games to keep yourselves entertained? Why do you constantly go so far out of your way to force yourselves to engage in the act of physical exertion? Put up your feet, take a load off, take that nap you’ve been putting off for hours. The idea of running and jumping really makes me sick just thinking about it, however, there is one thing I despise more than sport itself. The fans. Now these are some truly interesting folks. You could be doing anything, and you choose, of your own free will, to sit and watch someone bounce a ball and eventually throw it through a hoop. Exhilarating! The only thing I can respect about you fans is that you do choose to sit and eat rather than play the sport yourself. I have to ask though, why encourage others to play the sport in the first place? My recommendation to you is simple, instead sitting and eating while watching athletes parade around, why not sit and eat, while watching each other, sit and eat? The benefits are endless, for one you get to sit and eat, next, other people get to sit and eat. That’s it. Trust me you won’t regret the results.

netsDon’t get me started on this little tradition. You do realize that someone has to climb up there and put up a new net? It’s this selfish “do-things” attitude that I’ve had just about enough of. Get off the ladder, put the scissors down and go home. No one needs to see you snip a poor innocent pice of fabric. I almost threw my remote through the tv when I saw this, and that’s when it happened. It’s funny how the world works sometimes, just when I thought I could never respect any athlete/sport, I realized something had slipped through the cracks.

fieldBaseball. Now this sport I can get down with. Throw me out in right field and I’ll be just fine. Need me to hit? Sure, here’s a hint, it’s gonna be a walk or a strike out every time. Just when I think I have you humans figured out, you do this and throw the whole thing for a loop. A sport where you can literally play the entire game and never move. Baseball fans everywhere, I tip my cap to thee.



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