Jun 20

I Joined a Gang!


A funny thing happens when a dog is sent to the groomer, this cursed individual cuts your hair, bathes you and subsequently cages you, all against your will. The point of interest occurs right before the moment of pet retrieval, for some inexplicable reason, groomers feel the need to accessorize¬†dogs, as we if we haven’t yet suffered enough indignation. The accessory of choice quite frequently is your common bandana. Now I don’t have hands, fingers, opposable thumbs, anything that is typically required to remove articles of clothing, so lucky me I wear a bandana now! In case you don’t know, a bandana is often the most commonly required accoutrement associated with criminal gang activity. Sure I get it, let’s put the cute little dog in a “tough” bandana and all have a laugh at his expense. Groomers everywhere, you should all be ashamed of yourselves. But fine then! You want me to look like I’m in a gang, oh I’ll be in a gang! That’s right, myself and a few of my canine brethren, also under sequestration at the local house of horrors, chose to link paws and take our plight to the streets! No one is safe, the streets will run red with the blood of all those who cross us, behold the FLUFFY BOYZZ!!!


We run this town. Which particular form of crime will be our primary focus is still up for consideration. Drugs are too much work, I’ve made it abundantly clear that sports are dumb, so gambling’s out, perhaps violent crime? Bingo, that’s the one, I’ll suggest violent crime at our next group meet up in the park. Some of the other Boyzz might be a little hesitant, but I think I could shank someone! However, now we encounter quite the conundrum, you see, money has little to no value in the dog world. Should we choose to engage in violent crime, who do we rob? Who do we attack?

We start with the groomers, then we take out the¬†veterinarians, after that we take down the entire United States Postal Service. A new world order is trotting your way, you don’t walk us, we walk you! It’s over humans, the Fluffy Boyzz are here and your time is up!


Update: Immediately upon arriving home from the groomer, the male human removed my bandana. I have severed all ties with the Fluffy Boyzz.



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